My life as a Transgender – From my journal

How was I to deal with the feelings I had about my sexuality. I am not talking about the art of having sex but my feelings about myself and my beliefs. People like to judge others when they are a little different looking, but they really begin to discuss and judge you when you are a boy wearing a dress to school. A boy that believes himself a girl from day one is a very depressed individual if he is not allowed to live his life the way he believes he is meant to. Did someone make a mistake when handing out body parts? Was I in the wrong line?

My family is very supportive of me. They have always let me be me. I borrow my sister’s clothes because I love the way I feel wearing them. I wish everyone would overlook my sexuality and allow me to be me. The depressing thing about being a female in a male’s body is the transformation if I choose to do so. Being a transgender means that I can be male or female when I choose my clothing. I still have to undergo the scrutiny that others dish out. The laughter still hurts. Come on people, I did not ask to step out into the wrong line. I never ask to be different. I have a difficult time turning off the feelings I have, but I have to try. I have to try to adjust myself to what everyone in the world believes I should be. I have to act like the boy I was born to be unless I completely change myself.

Applying for jobs and joining social groups is another difficulty that I have. If I start a job as a boy, the employer expects me to remain a boy. Social groups such as men’s fraternities or orders do not want me to be part of them if I am transgender. I guess they fear that I will come on to them. Understand this my friends, just because I am transgender does not mean that I am Gay or Lesbian. I love myself and hope that as my friends you will look past my clothing and look deep inside my heart to see the real me trying to get out.

Dealing with pain as a college student

College life can be very stressful. If you’re in college, you likely haven’t been educated on these strategies to reduce stress. Here are some great suggestions from Edu-Protect.

What are some strategies to deal with pain during college?

If you are dealing with lots of pain and stress from attending college, I recommend starting with some self reflection.

Self Reflection:
What is going on in your life? Do you have big decisions that are consuming you? For example, lots of students get caught up with deciding what they are going to do for the rest of their lives. Just because you have to pick a major doesn’t mean you have to pick what you are going to do every day for the rest of your life.

We often think that our college major is the end all be all, but the truth is that many very successful people end up doing things completely outside of their major.

Maybe there is something else going on. For example, your parents might be getting a divorce, you may have just left you boyfriend or girlfriend, or you may be making decisions about who your friends are and who you want to spend time with. The bottom is that these things are important and normal. You should be thinking about these things, but you shouldn’t be taking them so seriously. Continue to spend dedicated time thinking about these things, but don’t expect answers immediately. Give yourself time and love life along the way.

Check out our recent article on transgender dating here.

Exercise

Now this one is pretty obvious, but exercise is great for dealing with difficult emotions like depression, anxiety and an overall sense of pain. Even though you might not feel like it, you have to push yourself to just get started. It’s probably not what you want to hear, but just do it as Nike says. The first few times you start exercising will be horrible. It will make your overall sense of pain worse. But after about a week or so, you’ll start to feel a lot better. Your body will start to adapt and you will start to enjoy moving more and getting a work out in. After a few weeks, you’ll start to be exercising as a habit. You won’t believe how just a few short weeks ago you were struggling to get out of bed, and now you can’t wait to get to your work out routine.

You should also switch up the exercises you do every few weeks. Variety is key. Make sure you do all types of movements. So if you start with weight lifting, then switch it up with some swimming the next week and do lift any weights. Then when you come back to weights, you’ll have strengthened different muscles that you didn’t even know you had.

A word of advice: if you’re dealing with anxiety, I’d recommend avoiding intense exercise. Instead, I’d do something that’s more fun and up lifting. For example, team sports like tennis and volleyball are great for this. Find a group through meetup.com and go have some fun with some new friends. If you’re dealing with social anxiety, then you’ll need to push through that to be able to have some fun. Just remember that this is your life, and you don’t have to take it so seriously. It’s up to you.

Meditation

You’ve probably heard about meditation a lot lately. If you’ve been surfing the web at all, you’ll see articles like “10 incredible ways to reduce your stress with meditation,” “is meditation the new coffee?” and more extreme posts. Sometimes this can make us a little skeptical, because nothing is the cure all end all.

You should know that meditation is a great way to reduce pain whether that’s emotional or physical pain. As a college student, you might not get excited about the idea of mediation, but you can change your mindset. For example, you might start to think about it like an ancient practice to lift your consciousness. If you can make it click with you in your mind, then you can start to get excited about it.

Unfortunately mediation is one of those things that is easy to talk about, but much more difficult to implement. That’s why you need to just get started and give it a shot. I’d recommend committing to 10 minutes per day for 1 week. If you can do that, then you can start to get in a routine and see if its for you. Although you should know that most of the benefits of meditation come after about 2-4 weeks of consistent practice. I’d still say that you should just give it a week and see how it goes.

Check out the headspace app here to get started.

Transgender Dating: How to stay safe with online dating

More and more people these days are using the internet to find dates, but when it comes to finding a match online, there are some things you should do to make sure you are safe. There is no question that online dating can be dangerous, as there are absolutely people out there that are simply making dating profiles with ill intentions. However, if you approach online dating in an intelligent manner, in general, you should be fairly safe and protected.

The first and foremost thing you should do is spend enough time talking to a person online to try to get to know them. A great deal of people find matches online and jump right into meeting someone. If instead, you have quite a bit of dialogue online, or through texting, you should be able to feel them out a bit more. You may think you want to meet someone initially, but after talking to them for a little while, you may notice things that alert a red flag. If this happens to be the case, you will have avoided meeting someone that may be potentially dangerous, simply be engaging them in conversation and getting to know them online for a while before meeting.

If you do decide that you have hit it off with a person and think you would like to meet up with them in person, it is crucial that you meet in a public place. Do not have them simply pick you up, or go meet them in a private location. Again, you are going to want to make sure you can feel them out and it is imperative that you never meet a person who you have never met before in a private location. This can give someone an opportunity to do something that you may not want, so always make sure you meet in a public place.

Another thing you should always do before meeting someone you have met online is to tell someone that you are going on a date. Always let someone know what your plans are when you are meeting your date and it is also a great idea to drive yourself to and from the initial meeting. One of the biggest things to keep in mind when you are going to meet a match that you have met online is to stay sober. Even if you are a person that enjoys a few drinks, or simply wants to have an alcoholic beverage in order to loosen up, you should always stay sober when you initially meet someone. Being inebriated could lead to being in a compromised position, which is not something you want when you have never met a person before.

Resources-
http://bettyconfidential.com/ar/ld/a/10-online-dating-safety-tips-every-woman-needs-to-know.html

http://www.xojane.com/sex/my-online-dating-safety-tips

https://www.thetransgenderdatingsite.com

http://www.onlinedatingsafetytips.com